Adventures in moving cross country- Volume 10.1 : What about the children?!
Making such a big move with a 4 person family definitely has a lot of moving pieces. A lot of them are physical; the house, all of our possessions, the actual moving process, etc. Then there are the financial pieces; my employment, the mortgage, selling our belongings and figuring out how to fund the move itself. Finally, there are all the pieces that are emotional.
There is a lot of excitement in our family to move. We are looking forward to all the new opportunities and adventures that await us. We are also very sad to be leaving a community that we've cultivated for so long. There's a lot of stuff still up in the air, which can be really anxiety inducing. Then there's the stuff that's just plain hard and painful, like slogging through the mortgage process, purging all of our stuff and worrying about how this will effect our kids.
When it comes to Bucky, our 4 year old, he kind of gets it and is pure excitement. We get glimpses into his brain as he talks about things "when we move to Michigan!" and it seems like it's going to be a magical wonderland of fun, new toys and probably lots of candy. He loves snow and no doubt will have a blast catching fireflies and spending time with his Bubbe. The new house will probably be a real life castle to him and it will be fun to hear him run around it non-stop. I'm sure he'll miss the friends he has here, and his cousin, but he's young enough that making friends isn't difficult and he'll likely forget most of them unless we bring them up.
Jerome, on the other hand is 15 and full of all the teenage stuff that goes along with that age. Over the year, his excitement for the move has largely been based on whether or not he has a girlfriend. He's old enough to be reminiscing his whole life here in Eugene and frequently laments leaving our tribe of friends who have helped sculpt him throughout his life. This has been helpful when we need an extra pair of hands to help those friends move, as it's an opportunity for him to spend some more time with them and hasn't seemed like such a chore.
Even though he is a teen, Jerome is also very sensitive and caring about others' feelings and therefore has been very receptive to all the reasons that went in to the decision to move. He's supportive overall and has resigned himself to it. Some days, he does indulge us by actually being optimistic about the future. He talks about what he wants to decorate his new room like and how he wants to form a band in his new city. Throughout most of his school years, he's had many friends, but not many close ones, and he's hoping that with a fresh start, there may be some better relationships in his future.
There is a lot of excitement in our family to move. We are looking forward to all the new opportunities and adventures that await us. We are also very sad to be leaving a community that we've cultivated for so long. There's a lot of stuff still up in the air, which can be really anxiety inducing. Then there's the stuff that's just plain hard and painful, like slogging through the mortgage process, purging all of our stuff and worrying about how this will effect our kids.
Won't somebody please think about the children!?
When it comes to Bucky, our 4 year old, he kind of gets it and is pure excitement. We get glimpses into his brain as he talks about things "when we move to Michigan!" and it seems like it's going to be a magical wonderland of fun, new toys and probably lots of candy. He loves snow and no doubt will have a blast catching fireflies and spending time with his Bubbe. The new house will probably be a real life castle to him and it will be fun to hear him run around it non-stop. I'm sure he'll miss the friends he has here, and his cousin, but he's young enough that making friends isn't difficult and he'll likely forget most of them unless we bring them up.
Snow= Snowmen, what's not to love?
Even though he is a teen, Jerome is also very sensitive and caring about others' feelings and therefore has been very receptive to all the reasons that went in to the decision to move. He's supportive overall and has resigned himself to it. Some days, he does indulge us by actually being optimistic about the future. He talks about what he wants to decorate his new room like and how he wants to form a band in his new city. Throughout most of his school years, he's had many friends, but not many close ones, and he's hoping that with a fresh start, there may be some better relationships in his future.
A teenager in it's natural state.
All in all, I'm confident that the kids will both adapt well to the new setting. With family and friends already in Michigan, there will already be a community in place for them to feel a part of. I'm hoping this makes it less scary for them as it does for me. Jerome and I will also have an opportunity to have a 3 day road trip together, which I think will help us to really talk out all the feels and get on the same page with our hopes and plans for the future.
It's not an easy choice to make, especially when it comes to Jerome, to uproot our family and move somewhere so far away. While they didn't necessarily get a choice in the matter, we've talked about it as a family a lot so they do feel like their feelings and opinions are important.
If you have any good tips about how to make the transition easier for the kids, please leave a comment!
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